Wild Child Playground

come in... take off your hat, take everything off if you want, but watch out for the lion, it bites and we don't like blood on the furniture

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Spoiled Not Rotten

The title of this post came from the name of a company I noticed in passing at work. I thought to myself, 'Ooo how clever, and true." I kind of feel that way sometimes. Definitely not rotten , or spoiled by having too much, but in the way that fun can sometimes get spoiled far too easily by a seemingly small event.

It brings to mind one Halloween when I was about 9 or 10. I came running down the stairs, way too excited as all kids are on this particular night, and stepped, with all my force, on a needle sticking out of the carpet. Since the needle was stuck point down, it was the dull eye of the needle that pierced my little foot, thread still in it and all. I cried so much. Not necessarily from the pain, although I know it hurt, but mainly because I knew, just KNEW that Halloween was spoiled. Thinking back, I can't remember if I actually ended up going out trick or treating that night, but I don't think so. The needle spoiled everything.

I think I may now know what it feels like to be spoiled milk; curdled and disappointing. For a while that feeling consumed me with self-loathing. Funny thing about spoiled milk though, once it has spoiled it has the potential to become many other delicious and wonderful things.

So there.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

In the Balance

OK. So here I am as per request of my favorite Zombie slayer. It has been far too long since I have given my writing (aka my blogs) the attention they deserve and so I would like to correct that.

I would like to start using this blog for what it was meant for in the first place; my unbound expressions, my deep dirty thoughts and my flailing fantasies. So that is my intention.

Speaking of flailing fantasies... does anyone remember those Ally McBeal shows? I never really watched them, but the few that I did see, I always like those little fantasy sequences where you would see Ally doing crazy things like breathing fire, or biting of the head off of a co-worker and spitting it across the room. Kind of seeing inside her head. I have those moments. Like the other day I could see myself grabbing my two roommates by the hair, one in each hand, and throwing them out the door into the snow. All exaggerated, like when a guy gets thrown out of a bar in a movie. I've had many such fantasy's moments in my head this last week.

I don't even need to go into it really. Its a story you have heard before. Evil roommates! Suffice it to say; some people can't live together, and some people want to help others so badly that they don't realize that they are getting blind-sided by their 'good' friends. The cost has been so damned high that I can't help but feel like a fool for not learning this lesson earlier. This week, I got figuratively kicked in the balls. Luckily I have self-restraint and did not choke anybody. Now it is merely a waiting game until the end of the month, when the two offensive parties will be leaving the house. Unfortunately for the time being I have had to place my son in my cousins care, because the people here are vindictive and unstable and I refuse to subject him to the abuse they were dishing out. Nothing like some childish, but very mean, threats to throw ones life into perspective.

So I have finally, I repeat FINALLY come to this conclusion; no more roommates. I will no longer allow people into my life and/or house that can potentially threaten the well-being of my family. Even with the nicest of roomies, you cannot control what happens in their life and so cannot in turn control what they do that may affect your life. It took me way too long to come to this conclusion, and almost brought violence out of me realizing it too, but I have made it through unscathed, or at least unscarred. Its been a long road.

I plan to post far more than I have in many moons, and the next post will be far more interesting. This is just my way of saying, "Hello. I'm still here, just cleaning up some messes to make room for the adventures to come."

See ya soon.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Out of the Storm...

The clouds have parted and the rain has ceased... at least for today. For a good 5 months I have felt like I have been wandering around in a torrential downpour with nothing to shield me but an old ratty newspaper that reported only sunshine and lollipops. It reminds me of that song by Melissa Etheridge that vaguely sounded like a ballad to stalking ex-lovers. Not that I feel like a stalker in any way shape or form... just the lyrics about her standing in the rain... ok so maybe its not like that song at all, and I don't really know why I brought it up to begin with. Moving on.

I have not been writing on my blogs, as if you hadn't noticed, but I have still been writing... only latetly it has been in a ring binder that has been living next to my bed. It keeps all my secrets so very well. Today I woke and thought about Him. It hurt for sure, I guess I am not as far out of the storm as I would like to think I am. I do miss him, but I think that its mostly because we were so comfortable with each other, and he was a guaranteed place to get support and comfort and affection. Those are three things I am missing terribly, not to mention SEX. Although he wasn't a sure place for that, or even if it was sure, it was not very satisfying, so that is not something I miss with him really. None the less... the missing is present for the moment.

It's funny, I have practically been avoiding my job for the last two months, and now I could not avoid it if I tried. I am born to be good at this, which is actually a relief to tell you the truth. Even if I don't go looking for them, they come looking for me. Yesterday I went to my next door neibour's to get my son, and the woman there casually brought up my job... well it was like an open door, how could I not walk through... so without even trying, I got a booking!!

In other news... men are confusing me left, right and centre. Many of them want my attention since I became single again, and thats nice actually, I like attention, but I am not quite getting what I want, and to tell you the truth, I am kind of hoping that I might actually, FINALLY, find the one of them that makes me not want any other. Is it too big a hope? I guess we will see. So far I think it actually may be possible cause instead of wanting all the attention, I just want specific attention.

Life is surely a rollercoaster for me, its a good thing I like amusement parks.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Monday, May 22, 2006


Don't feel bad, this isn't the most important place in my life that is being severly neglected. I don't know whats going to happen, but something has got to give.... I need to get outside of my head.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Another wonderland picture for all the fans...................

The awakening of my mind......

This last month has been amazing.......The thoughts, The dreams, The overall unfucking believable relizations that are happening within my mind..... Sometimes i don't think i can handle it all at once but i haven't drown yet.........lol....... (and i never will )..............
and i feel that everything is happening in it's time........
I've been almost euphorically high and enlightened .......by life and i have no clue what has changed only that its good and for once i kinda feel capable of attaining my future.... hallafuckinlooyah.....
lol......Well thats all for now ...just thought i'd stop in and show some love .............lol..............

Monday, May 08, 2006


Rarely is change a comfortable, easy going thing. It doesn't generally show up on your doorstep with flowers and coffee, looking for a relaxing conversation about the weather. Real change is of a different nature altogether. Real change is often named after a woman, like Katrina, or hidden in words that almost always make people flinch or even cry, like devastation, destruction, or END. Changes on a more personal scale are no less monumental or painful, they just don't lay waste to entire cities (more often than not anyway).

My life has always been about change. Sure that is an easy blanket statement that could count for anyone, but what I mean is that I have always recognized the inescapable and most definite necessity of change and therefore tried my best to work with it and not against it. It makes it no less scary or painful, I honestly tell you, but it does tend to allow for the necessary changes to flow without too much denial or resistance. Now having said that, I have been resisting this present change for quite some time. In fact I have included all of you, my small list of faithful readers, in this change for almost as long as it has been impending, and as all of you know, I have waffled back and forth on it for far too long. I can not see the future, I can not say exactly how this attempt will turn out, but I can say that I want to make this change... I want to be strong and brave and let it go.

The wanting of something does not make the actualization of the thing any easier. I know that it is going to get WAY harder before it gets easier. Its getting through the hard part that scares me really. Can I make it through the late night doubts and guilt? Can I get past the terror of being alone again? Can I break his heart and live with myself? I know I can, but I also know how much it is going to hurt. I don't want to break his heart, but looking back upon our love, I now see that it was never going to be any other way, because to leave this relationship, he was always going to make it my fault. I hate it being my fault, I hate when people are mad at me, when people I love won't love me when they think I have let them down.

You know, I still love every man I have ever loved. I am still great friends with most of them. I do not discard people just cause they don't fit into my model of a perfect relationship. We loved; that is in itself an incredible thing, worth honor and respect... why is it so hard for some people to love anyway? I love you. I am sorry that it has to be me walking away, cause even though you are the one who left, I know you blame me. If you need to do that to survive this, than I accept it, and I still love you. But we were not going to make it, and you know it as well as I do, only I am willing to say it and walk away. I wish we could end it as friends, the way we began it... I don't know what else to say anymore... my heart hurts.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


To make up for my lack of posting, I will enrich your veiwing pleasure. Here is my next hot babe. The name of this gorgeous beast is Jake Gyllenhaal. This hot young man is an exceptional actor, and if you don't believe me, go watch Bubble Boy and then follow it up with Donnie Darko. He is incredibly good changing roles. Did I mention that he is HOT, hot hot and yummy, and funny, and oh so cute.

I do not actually know much about Jake, as I am not one of those stalker types.. so no I do not know his birthplace, or his favorite colour...or the name f his childhood dog... or even if he LIKES dogs. Gee what kind of a fan am I anyway? The kind that appreciates the only 'real' view I may have into the life of an actor I enjoy.. his acting abilites and his looks ;P As far as the rest of it goes, until the day I meet Jake Gyllenhaal, I would not claim to know much about the man. None the less, I can appreciate him enough to add him to my hot babe list. So here you go, you horney freaks you!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Have a Hot Babe Instead

Sorry my failure to deliver the good stuff... but my life just does not seem to want to allow me the time or the pleasure, so instead I must satisfy you with another hot woman. Oh well.
Besides being absolutely gorgeous, enchanting and steamy... She is a great actor. Seeing her face on a movie definitly makes me look twice. In Mean Girls we got just the slightest taste of what this hot vixen is capable of, but I didn't fall completely head over heels for her until the heat practically dripped from the screen in The Notebook. Great role, great kisser, good fuckin job! But she had a GREAT counterpart, who wouldn't want to make out with Ryan?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A L M O S T ! !

wait for it.... wait for it....

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Fantasies and ME

I have decided to use this as a means to release some sexual tension... as if I haven't already, but even more so. SO... I am going to write some sexual fantasies... some of my own as well as some I've been told... just a bunch of good, hot stories all around, and I hope its as good for you as it is for me. Enjoy!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Have my cake and Eat it too!!

It's wonderful when you realize that you are getting everything you ever wanted AND more. I have always believed in Karma and so I just have to say, I must have done some pretty fucking awesome things in another life... or maybe its that I paid off my karmic debts with childhood obstacles I overcame, and refused to later use as reasons for being a shit head. Live a good life so you can enjoy it now... instead of making excuses for bad behavior and waiting around for things to change.

Let's all EAT CAKE!!
*props to whomever's kid this is... this picture is just TOO perfect!!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Tastes Like Chocolate

Desire is a flavorful dish. The writer in me has so many colourful words to describe desire, so many explicit images and intimate moments that even Jenna Jameson might blush while reading it (or at least jump me for it ;p). Erotica has always been my favorite medium when I am sexually ravenous. Some of my friends would say that I am ALWAYS ravenous, that's just the Gemini nature, but there are better times and there are worse times... I cannot tell if this time is either one of those.

I thought that it was supposed to be scorpio's that are led by their sex, but to be a Gemini has certainly been a grand adventure in temptation. Ahhhh there it is again. Temptation. It seldom leaves me alone for long. I feel like a soft, chocolate dipped cherry... just waiting for a luscious mouth to savor my sweet taste. The anticipation is deliciously maddening, yet I would have it no other way. To desire and be desired is a sultry dance on a humid summer night. Fingertips tracing beads of sweat dripping off exposed skin. Bodies moving to a deeper rhythm, swaying hypnotically. Lips longing to be bitten. The music of moans. Mmmmm, the frustration inspires me to action. Sometimes I wish that it were easier to satisfy my wants, but oh so intricate is the world of sex... perhaps that is one of its great magnetic qualities... its opposition to simplicity and order... instead of entering the labyrinth, for now I shall write and dance, dance, dance...

I have written many poems dedicated to this cause throughout my literary life but for this moment in time, I think these lyrics suit me just fine... if you can handle it, read all the way through, the words have a fire all their own.

This Love
I was so high I did not recognize, the fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye she got on a plane, never to return again
But always in my heart

chorus * * * *
Oh! This love has taken it's toll on me, she said goodbye
Too many times before
Her heart is breaking in front of me, and I have no choice
Cause I won't say goodbye anymore

whoa... whoa.. whoa

I tried my best to feed her appetite, keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Oh, kept playing love like it was just a game, pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again

chorus * * * *
Oh! This love has taken it's toll on me, she said goodbye
Too many times before
Her heart is breaking in front of me, and I have no choice
Cause I won't say goodbye anymore

whoa... whoa.. whoa

I'll fix these broken things, repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on your hips, sink in my fingertips
Every inch of you cause I know that's what you want me to do

chorus * * * *
Oh! This love has taken it's toll on me, she said goodbye
Too many times before
Her heart is breaking in front of me, and I have no choice
Cause I won't say goodbye anymore

whoa... whoa.. whoa

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Treasures of Wonderland


My obsession burns strong and grows with more admiration everyday. How could one story amaze so many in a way that it created a following. So many artists capturing her beauty, her innocence as it appeared in there minds eye, The first time that they heard this wonderful tale. I know the story created a dream within my mind a place where animals could talk and be just like people. I strongly believe that without such amazing influences as this and many other wonderous fables I would not be who i am today. It lead me to wonder...... wonder in Wonderland...............i've been collecting memrobilia and trinkets for years some small some big but if it has anything to do with Wonderland it has to be mine..........i'm still looking for the perfect teapot for all those unbirthday partys that occur throughout the year till we meet again enjoy your travels down the rabbithole...............

Monday, February 27, 2006

Master is my name, Success is the game

It's been too long a wait for me to return to regale all you faithful readers out there, whoever you may or may not be, with my sordid, strange, and sometimes morbidly erotic rantings. Alas, I am here and you must wait no longer.

First off I must give honorable mention and hang my head in sorrow for the disappearance of the much loved and sought after Zombieslayer. Duty has squeezed the room out of his life for entertaining and informing his many fans about all kinds of fantastic, important and sometimes fucked-up topics, not even left enough space for a dirty joke or two.. but I have faith that one day, when we need him the most, the Zombieslayer will return to us.

In other news, I am on the fast track to ultimate girlie glory. Now don't make the mistake of equating fast track with easy road, because this journey has been ANYTHING but easy. It has taken up so much of my own sweet time that I too have found it difficult to get in some writing time, and we all know what a shame that is. I have worked harder for the success I am on the verge of enjoying then almost anything else in my life. In fact the only thing I can compare it to is labor, and that was over in 28 hours.. whereas this labor has been going on for just short of 60 days. I am about ready to destroy something, or else go on a sexual rampage that may or may not find completion in this millennium. In two days time my efforts will reach fruition and I am going to proceed directly to the nearest dance club wherein I will sweat off at least 10 pounds that I could use to hang on to. A girls got to do what a girls got to do.

In another bit of what's what, I am going to shout out to a very yummy bit o' desert, who knows who they are, and leave you a big wet groping kiss. Now, on with the show... the roommates have once again turned over, I think that makes 8 in the last year, that has GOT to be a record somewhere, and I can only say that with each turn, it just gets better and better. The only way this could be even greater is if this house was my kingdom (which of course it IS), and all the folks who come through were my harem. Then life would pretty much be 'practically perfect in every way'!

Thursday, February 23, 2006


The day you realize you're not missing anything is both glorious and empowering, and so, so sad.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Hot Hot Hot!!

I figured it was time for my next hot babe. At first I couldn't choose, I was like ME in a chocolate shop, so many yummy choices and so little space in one lifetime. I bit the bullet and this time my choice HAS got to be Jude Law. This picture really says it all.

From the very first time I set eyes on this delicious creature, knew he was a 'must have'. This is not about fame, or fortune, this is purely about beauty. This man has incredibly romantic features, with an olive skin that seems to defy such light eyes. I think that he is a perfect example of how much I adore people who look different.

Ok ok, so not only is he HOT but he is also an excellent actor. Every movie he has ever done he has done exceptionally well. My first glimpse of Jude Law was in Gattaca, but I know this was not his first film. I was a fan of Ethan Hawke when I was younger, which is primarily why I watched the film (besides I likee sci-fi). Jude Law practically stole the scene time and again as far as I was concerned. I really enjoyed his roles in The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain, Enemy at the Gates, A.I., and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. He really is a convincing actor, which just makes his yumminess, that much more palatable.

Here's one more great shot of a young Mr Law, I do love this man's body as well, I mean you gotta love the whole package ya know? Can't be taking people apart piece by piece now can we? They are much better all together. Well that is all I've got on Jude Law for the moment, maybe I'll think of something more deep and interesting to say later, when I stop drooling.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Ooooo Smooooooth!

Considering I have a new career as a Glamour Queen, I decided (as all glamour queens in this business eventually do) that I better play the part to the best of my abilities, and seeing as I have always been somewhat of a girlie girl, and a lover of costume, it suits me just fine.

Two days ago I made an appointment for my very good friend and I to get our nails done. She honestly needed it more then me because she is a cannibal to her fingers and chews those nails everyday, and I have always had the good fortune to have nails that grow long and strong. Unfortunately like everyone's my nails eventually break or something. So I decided to also get nails that would break less, and who doesn't like to get their nails done?

Well along with the nail appointment I made a waxing appointment for myself as well. Ok so I am one of those women who has almost NO hair on her legs or arms, so I have not actually shaved my legs for ages... there was no point, you couldn't see it and my boyfriend couldn't care less. One thing though, it definitely didn't feel like smooth shaven legs, so I decided I would get them waxed, see how I like it; no woman should ever take a razor to any part of her body if she can help it. I mean you want to get rid of the hair, not make it grow in thicker and stronger!!! Am I right? Along with my legs I decided to get a partial Brazilian...! When one of my friends asked me why not a full Brazilian, my answer was simple: "I want to look like a porn star, not a 10 year old!"

The leg waxing was simple... almost undetectable as far as pain goes. The Brazilian... well it had its moments of ease, but then it had its moments of OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! OW! OW! that REALLY HURT!! *Whew* Ok the pain leaves quickly, its almost over... What?! There's more... ok, I can handle this, the pain doesn't last, thats a good thing. Here we go again. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Actually I never screamed or yelled or anything like that, I am just not THAT girl, but inside my head... thats another story. All in all, it was worth it, and I will probably have it done again, but oh man you can bet I am going to MAKE it worth it. Yeow.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

This Should be Easier

How hard can it be to find pink stockings. Sounds like an easy enough task right? Wrong. Its amazing how most of the 'good girl' lingeri stores do not carry other colours then red, black, or white. Sad, just sad.

So I decided I better go looking at the porn stores. I just want pale pink stockings and a garter belt to match, maybe a bra to go with them... is that too much to ask? Sheesh, whats this world coming to? Wish me luck ;)

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Serious Shoes

Hmmmmm.... I realize, having read punkbandaid's last entry, that it has been ages since I have had something like that to write about. Years since I have even gotten drunk. I can't really complain, I was never really too impressed with being drunk. Sure it has its high points, like dancing with my girlfriends or flirting with gorgeous strangers, but to tell you the truth, I have much more fun ( and success) at doing those things NOW, when I am not drunk. Like I can dance for much longer, and be way better at it, when I am not staggering or if the room is not spinning. Also I no longer need the added confidence alcohol can miss-guidedly bestow to flirt with gorgeous people. I have the audacity to approach anyone and everyone I want to, without the need to then slurr my words.

It reminds me of this one guy who tried hard to impress me and pick me up at the local bar. He asked me if he could buy me a drink, and he seemed like a nice enough guy, not exactly what I am attracted to, but I hate to give out rejection if I don't have to. So I accepted his offer and we sat down together to chat while we enjoyed our drinks. Not more then 3 minutes into our conversation, he gestured a little too enthusiastically and successfully knocked my entire drink onto my lap, not missing my chest in the process. The look of horror and embarrassment on his face made me laugh so hard. It was really not the worst thing that could have happened, I am pretty easy going, but he didn't feel the same. He could barely look me in the eye after that... poor guy.

I do have some fond memories of getting drunk though, it can't have been all bad, and although it does tend to make people want to have more sex, it often incapacitates men from actually performing... well not all men and not all the time, luckily. But even if you are not incapacitated, I personally don't like the room to spin when I am having sex, it makes me ill, not too mention the smell of alcohol is NOT an aphrodisiac by any means. The hangover the next morning also inhibits any fun romping you may want. Now this isn't to say that I don't like having a glass of wine every once in a while, or a nice cold corona with lime, but I just don't ever like to get to the point of drunk.

I have a good friend who is SO much like me when I was 17, that it amazes me at how much I have changed. Sometimes I don't feel any different then I did when I was 17, or 13, or even 10, I still remember that young girl who was afraid to approach guys at a dance, but who did it anyway and hid her insecurity and disappointment when getting turned down. It is almost insane how much that has changed... now I am the woman who gets chased by the guys. I blame my smile... it gets them every time. As a young woman, I knew that I had some peculiar power that affected men, but I didn't really know what to do with it and mostly I made messes. Now I know exactly what my affect on the opposite sex is and I have no issues putting on my serious shoes and going for what I want. And I want it all.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Hot Babe # 2

I had some trouble deciding if my second hot babe should be male or female, and I tell you it was a tough call, but I decided that the most gorgeous woman I have ever lusted after deserved the number two spot on my Hot Babes posts. So I give to you, in all her delicious glory: Angelina Jolie. Since the very first time I laid eyes on this woman, I knew in no uncertain terms , that I was am and always will be a lover of beautiful women. Angie is a well established actor who has played roles ranging from a coke-addicted super-model to a gun toting treasure hunter.

Not everything she has done has been a great work of art, there is no doubt, but regardless I can never get enough of watching her do it anyway. I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith recently and I will admit it was not one of my favorites... the storyline was ok, but the pace of the movie actually succeeded in making the entire piece boring... which is an utter failure considering it was supposed to be an action movie. Now having said that, it was the lovely Angelina and so it was worth watching anyway.

My favorite roles for this goddess would have to be her as a mental patient in Girl, Interrupted, as a melt-down wife in Pushing Tin, Ryan Phillipes love-interest in Playing By Heart, the tough military chick in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and the role close to her heart in the tear jerking, powerfully painful Beyond Borders. Even better then most of her roles would have to be her photo shoots, and her highly public relationships.

The relationship that stands out to me the most, and is a much better view of what Angie is capable of would have to be the one with her adopted son, Maddox. Becoming a mother has changed this woman, obviously for the better... not just the better, but the incredible. Now, not only is she an actress, but a very conscientious one who gives unfailingly and very generously to help the truly less fortunate. She has power, and wealth, and she is very responsible with it... this fact makes her a most spectacular woman indeed. Its no wonder that a family oriented man, such as Brad Pitt, would fall madly and deeply in love with her, she is absolutely worthy of worship.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Absolutely Edible

I think the picture is self-explanatory, it should be obvious as to why I like it so much. A beautiful piece of art.

Friday, December 30, 2005

What to do, what to do?

I am really fucking confused. One of my very best friends is involved in a really unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationship. I can hardly stand what it makes her do and say. She throws away her own worth and stands up for her right to fuck herself over. If she wasn't someone I love deeply I could probably just shrug and walk away, but I really don't know what to do.

The person she has this icky relationship with is her sister, and right now she lives with her sister and her sister's fiance. Every time the 'happy' couple have an argument, my friend jumps right in and starts freaking on the guy to 'protect her sister'. I have tried to tell her that it's not her place, that it is only hurting all of them, but she just goes on defending her stance. Her goddamned sister is more then happy to let my friend screw herself for her benefit. I don't know what to do, I don't know how to let it go, or how to make a difference. I fucking hate this blind bullshit, when people tell themselves lies to justify bad behavior. Cowardice and dishonesty disgust me and the last thing I want is to feel this way about someone I love, especially since I know she is better then that.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Electric Sex a.k.a. A Christmas Story

Who doesn't love A Christmas Story? This is my brothers and my favorite Christmas movie of all time. Ever since I was about 9 or 10 we have watched this movie faithfully every Christmas season. Some channel, I won't give them a shout out, has hipped on to this phenomenon and now plays A Christmas Story for twenty four hours starting today. You can bet I will watch it at least twice, same with my bro, even though we are far from each other.

Now all of us who love this story know that its about one boy's memory of the 1950's Christmas when he dreamed of getting an "Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!" At this time it was a common wish of ten year old boys, who I might add did not need television or video games to still have violent daydreams, to want their own guns. The other most memorable sub-plot in this movie is the "the legendary battle of the lamp" otherwise known as Electric Sex! This is the hilarious moment when Ralphie's Old Man gets an award which just happens to be a stocking-covered woman's leg lamp. As you can guess Mrs. Old Man is none too happy with the sexy leg in her living room that is NOT her own.

Amongst the sparkling lights, freezing cold poles, back-alley bullies, and trip to Santa Claus, this movie is a holiday treat for any family that recognizes that we are not all perfect. Their are so many hilarious lines in this movie and they just seem to stick with ya. The taste of the Christmas season is full and saturated in this film so that even if you are celebrating in a place without the ice and snow, this story will bring it home to you wrapped in a package of warmth and laughter. (I should write reviews ;P) If you have not seen this movie, take my word, its worth seeing... and if you have,well watch it again and well we'll be watching it together!

"Oooh fuuudge!"
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