This is your cat on drugs.....
posted by Anonymous @ 4:00 PM
1 comments
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
The Looking Glass World
Have you ever realized that life is a series of events where your trapped on the other side of the looking glass. Peering through wondering what it's like on the other side. Maybe if you took the right potion ate the right mushroom you'd find your way through to the other side. Instead of always following that white rabbit and falling down the rabbit hole becoming lost, disorientated and some what quite confused. Trying to find your way home but you have no way, always here is the Queen's way. All you have is guidance from the mad who seem unable to follow. They appear to disappear with nothing but a smile a grin of such satisfation and utter madness. That your left to resort to confide in a hatter and a hare that help you no further than since you've begun. So once again you venture alone unknowing of your way through to the other side. Along with you, you have the hatter the hare and the infamous white rabbit that started this whole mess. As well as the grinning, smiling mishcheivious chesire cat that thinks he knows all but you know he's gone mad and that his guidance is misleading cause he puts on such pretty faces with such evil intentions. Well enough of my nonsence for now I will return once again when my thoughts create and figure of how to exit this place till then I will leave you to ponder this insanity..............
posted by Anonymous @ 10:20 AM
1 comments
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Love is a battlefield... wanna see some scars?
Who doesn't react to that teensy-weensy, enormously influential, four letter word? Just imagine for a moment how many expressions of art have been dedicated to that icon? How many bad decisions, awful mistakes, broken homes, black eyes, unwanted/wanted babies, marriages, divorces, tabloids, scandals, murders, suicides, pornography, hallmark cards and harlequin romances have been made because of "love". Sure there are many wonderful things done in the name of love, but lets be honest, they are few and far between.
Love is a tool being used shamelessly by our governments and large corporations to make money and to enslave the people. Most people don't even know what their 'loved ones' mean when they say "I love you," or have never even thought to ask what it means to someone else or to themselves for that matter. Love means so many different things, and it rarely means the same thing to any two people. We get the idea of romantic love and finding the 'right one' from the media; the fiery, undeniable and overwhelming passion that we can't live without. So many people are bent on that idea of love and assume that it is love.
Well what if that is merely a suggestion made to highly suggestive minds to get them to buy things so that they may get a better chance of finding and 'landing' their one. I'm not even saying that IS it, but just what if? Well if that was the case then love would have to be something else, based on something else, not just what we are told and fed. Something we learned from our mothers perhaps... our parents whether they were present or not, are how we learn about love. How they love and treat their loved ones, how they allow themselves to be treated. How they treat us.
When I was a younger girl, I encountered so many people who had rules about the expression of love. As in to say "I love you"; they had intricate stories about why they should not say it, or what it would mean if they did. I have heard the line "I don't say I love you very easily" so many times. As if those words in themselves were a power to withhold or to give depending on the worth of the person receiving them. Or the person giving the gift had some expectations of what would happen if they did say those three little words. Like they would be bound eternally to the person they said it to, and would have a whole mess of responsibilities and complications born strait from their mouth. What does love mean to a person like this?
I have to admit in my experience, it had been mostly guys who had such issues with saying it, but I have definitely met quite a few women who suffer from the same problem. The issue I have with this is that most people behave this way, with these unspoken expectations directing them, yet they are exactly that; unspoken. We need to talk about it more. Show your scars, but know what they are, don't just lay them on someone who does not wish it or even know it expecting them to behave in some particular way. Your love is something within you; your relationship with yourself. No one else can truly give it to you except maybe your mother, the initial barer of the much coveted love, unfortunately some mothers do not see it in themselves to give.
It it true that people do love, and are loving to others and it can feel so wonderful to be loved, yet the sad fact is that you cannot give someone love who does not want it, or cannot feel it in themselves. You cannot win love like a prize or manipulate it out of someone. It only comes from the deepest excavation of yourself, and when you find it and hold it gently and respectfully in your own hands, only then can it be possible to share it with someone else.
Love is a light-hearted dance upon the abandoned battlefield, to honor the end of the war.
Love is a tool being used shamelessly by our governments and large corporations to make money and to enslave the people. Most people don't even know what their 'loved ones' mean when they say "I love you," or have never even thought to ask what it means to someone else or to themselves for that matter. Love means so many different things, and it rarely means the same thing to any two people. We get the idea of romantic love and finding the 'right one' from the media; the fiery, undeniable and overwhelming passion that we can't live without. So many people are bent on that idea of love and assume that it is love.
Well what if that is merely a suggestion made to highly suggestive minds to get them to buy things so that they may get a better chance of finding and 'landing' their one. I'm not even saying that IS it, but just what if? Well if that was the case then love would have to be something else, based on something else, not just what we are told and fed. Something we learned from our mothers perhaps... our parents whether they were present or not, are how we learn about love. How they love and treat their loved ones, how they allow themselves to be treated. How they treat us.
When I was a younger girl, I encountered so many people who had rules about the expression of love. As in to say "I love you"; they had intricate stories about why they should not say it, or what it would mean if they did. I have heard the line "I don't say I love you very easily" so many times. As if those words in themselves were a power to withhold or to give depending on the worth of the person receiving them. Or the person giving the gift had some expectations of what would happen if they did say those three little words. Like they would be bound eternally to the person they said it to, and would have a whole mess of responsibilities and complications born strait from their mouth. What does love mean to a person like this?
I have to admit in my experience, it had been mostly guys who had such issues with saying it, but I have definitely met quite a few women who suffer from the same problem. The issue I have with this is that most people behave this way, with these unspoken expectations directing them, yet they are exactly that; unspoken. We need to talk about it more. Show your scars, but know what they are, don't just lay them on someone who does not wish it or even know it expecting them to behave in some particular way. Your love is something within you; your relationship with yourself. No one else can truly give it to you except maybe your mother, the initial barer of the much coveted love, unfortunately some mothers do not see it in themselves to give.
It it true that people do love, and are loving to others and it can feel so wonderful to be loved, yet the sad fact is that you cannot give someone love who does not want it, or cannot feel it in themselves. You cannot win love like a prize or manipulate it out of someone. It only comes from the deepest excavation of yourself, and when you find it and hold it gently and respectfully in your own hands, only then can it be possible to share it with someone else.
Love is a light-hearted dance upon the abandoned battlefield, to honor the end of the war.
posted by clothosfate @ 10:53 AM
4 comments
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Death to PMS
I absolutly hate PMS. If there was ever a reason to not be a woman that would be number one on my list. Guys use "she's just pms'ing" like its an excuse for moody behaviour, but if they only knew. It takes all thier girlfriends, wives, sisters, female friends, daughters and even mothers (if they are young enough) and turns every last one of them into mentally and emotionally unbalanced people.
I have always loved being a woman, the only other time (besides PMS) that I ever wanted to be a man was to see what it feels like to get a blow job, or to have an erection for that matter. Ok so yes, sometimes I would love to know what its like to have my very own cock. Other then the occassional interest in that, I would much rather be a woman. Except when I get PMS. It is just SO unfair, you men have NO idea.
I tend to be a fairly level person, not having tantrums, or being really flippy. I live with optimisum and a sense of etiquette that I was fortunate enough to inherit from my very graceful mother. Sure, like everyone there are things that can truly piss me off, and my friends generally suggest treading carefully when that has happened, and there are times when I like to be wild and risky. But normally speaking I prefer to sail on calm seas.
And then "that time" comes. No matter how much we may want to be reasonable, or level-headed, we are no longer at the controls. An immature, emotionally unhinged little girl has locked herself in and is pressing every brightly coloured button she can reach. Its not the same for all of us, at least the manifestaion isn't, and it can be different every time. Sometimes I am giddy and happy and really, really horny. Other times I am weepy for days with no apparent reason. Then there is the ever popular bitchy. We all know and adore that one don't we?
Well pms has arrived again, lucky me, and this time my boyfriend has been gone for 10 days now. He works as a carpenter about 3 hours drive into the mountains from where we live, and there is no phone. I am used to this by now, we have been together for 4 years, but since we moved to the city last winter, this is the first time in at least 2 years that he has been away for this long, and my patience and ease are leaving me. It's not as if I wonder what he's up to, or if he still loves me; those are easy to answer. It's just that we have a great time together, and really love being with each other, after 4 years thats a wonderful thing (are you sickened yet?)
I have been watching the driveway for about 3 days now as I have no notice of when he will return, and its beginning to get pathetic. I drempt last night that he was leaving me. *sob* I know this is totally imposible, as he worships me, but none the less, leave me alone for too long, with pms creeping in and thats the kind of dreams I end up having. Maybe I need to have a good cry, goddamit its a sorry excuse for patience.
Another terrible thing about absence, especially in the company of "pouty miss sissy" is that when he finally does come home, or I go there whichever comes first, its not like I can get mad at him, or whine or bitch or nag or whatever it is that we women are suppose to be famous for. No, not for me, if I do that then I am shitting on the little bit of time we do have together and that would just make it worse. The truth is, when we do get together, he will be wonderful and loving. Hence the illogic of hormones. Do guys not get that dreary feeling when they are away from the the woman they are crazy about... for 10 days! I will have to investigate this, and get back to you.
I can't stand this feeling of mopeyness any longer! I wish I could hunt PMS down and strangle it in its sleep. Good ole pillow over the face (I would hate to even imagine the face of pms), or I think I would rather use my bare hands. Hmmmm, maybe I will go to the gym and deal out my frustration in sweat. Death to pms!!
I have always loved being a woman, the only other time (besides PMS) that I ever wanted to be a man was to see what it feels like to get a blow job, or to have an erection for that matter. Ok so yes, sometimes I would love to know what its like to have my very own cock. Other then the occassional interest in that, I would much rather be a woman. Except when I get PMS. It is just SO unfair, you men have NO idea.
I tend to be a fairly level person, not having tantrums, or being really flippy. I live with optimisum and a sense of etiquette that I was fortunate enough to inherit from my very graceful mother. Sure, like everyone there are things that can truly piss me off, and my friends generally suggest treading carefully when that has happened, and there are times when I like to be wild and risky. But normally speaking I prefer to sail on calm seas.
And then "that time" comes. No matter how much we may want to be reasonable, or level-headed, we are no longer at the controls. An immature, emotionally unhinged little girl has locked herself in and is pressing every brightly coloured button she can reach. Its not the same for all of us, at least the manifestaion isn't, and it can be different every time. Sometimes I am giddy and happy and really, really horny. Other times I am weepy for days with no apparent reason. Then there is the ever popular bitchy. We all know and adore that one don't we?
Well pms has arrived again, lucky me, and this time my boyfriend has been gone for 10 days now. He works as a carpenter about 3 hours drive into the mountains from where we live, and there is no phone. I am used to this by now, we have been together for 4 years, but since we moved to the city last winter, this is the first time in at least 2 years that he has been away for this long, and my patience and ease are leaving me. It's not as if I wonder what he's up to, or if he still loves me; those are easy to answer. It's just that we have a great time together, and really love being with each other, after 4 years thats a wonderful thing (are you sickened yet?)
I have been watching the driveway for about 3 days now as I have no notice of when he will return, and its beginning to get pathetic. I drempt last night that he was leaving me. *sob* I know this is totally imposible, as he worships me, but none the less, leave me alone for too long, with pms creeping in and thats the kind of dreams I end up having. Maybe I need to have a good cry, goddamit its a sorry excuse for patience.
Another terrible thing about absence, especially in the company of "pouty miss sissy" is that when he finally does come home, or I go there whichever comes first, its not like I can get mad at him, or whine or bitch or nag or whatever it is that we women are suppose to be famous for. No, not for me, if I do that then I am shitting on the little bit of time we do have together and that would just make it worse. The truth is, when we do get together, he will be wonderful and loving. Hence the illogic of hormones. Do guys not get that dreary feeling when they are away from the the woman they are crazy about... for 10 days! I will have to investigate this, and get back to you.
I can't stand this feeling of mopeyness any longer! I wish I could hunt PMS down and strangle it in its sleep. Good ole pillow over the face (I would hate to even imagine the face of pms), or I think I would rather use my bare hands. Hmmmm, maybe I will go to the gym and deal out my frustration in sweat. Death to pms!!
posted by clothosfate @ 7:46 AM
3 comments
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Sex dreams are one thing... But what about Murder?
So I had been enjoying the erotic dreams that have been frequenting my sleep, until a couple of nights ago, when things began to go all wrong. First off I had this weird-ass dream about some guy dying in a bath tub, the freakiest part of this dream was when the guys daughter found him. I followed her into the bathroom, and when she saw the poor guy (face up, still dressed{thank god} with shower-head in hand) she let out the most terrifying scream and ran right into me. It scared me so bad it bumped me right out of the dream and I sat straight up in bed.
That was at about 6:00am, so I had to go back to sleep, trying desperately to avoid seeing the dead body again. The dream went on, not much better, but luckily I DID avoid looking at him.
Then last night I had another one, not quite so CSI scary, but maybe even worse. Some friends and I seemed to have decided to put a gruesome end to a local rapist/pimp. We found the guy, who looked strongly like a biker-dude, all by himself and we dragged him away to an abandoned garage (how typical). There we took turns beating the living hell outta the guy. With our fists, feet, and any heavy object we could find. Considering I am completely non-violent, this was fairly disturbing for me. We did not stop until we had killed him, regardless of his pleas and bloody face.
Then the dream skipped ahead a couple of days and all of the sudden I am at a beauty pageant. I had no intention of being in it, even though I do seem to remember holding a very expensive blue dress. But I am there to meet one of the contestants, a dark-haired beauty I do not know. We get together and are in her dressing room when another biker-dude guy (what's with the bikers?) comes in looking for blood. I'm guessing he was either family or part of the other guys posse (same dif). So he grabs the pretty brunette and I somehow manage to get myself into the ceiling or rafters of the room and out of his reach. He starts to cut her, coaxing me down, and I grab an axe (axe?) and try hanging on with my legs while I lower myself enough to cut his damned head off. Now this is where I get that too-weak-to-do-anything kinda feeling and I am afraid to swing the axe incase all it does is get me caught too.
Fear does not hold me long and I swing it with all my might. Splat! His head hitting the floor. Next thing I know I am outside walking through the park, trying to shake the two murders. The dream wanders off after that, and then I wake up. Hmmm what does it mean I wonder? Any dream interpreters who want to take a crack at it, be my guest!
That was at about 6:00am, so I had to go back to sleep, trying desperately to avoid seeing the dead body again. The dream went on, not much better, but luckily I DID avoid looking at him.
Then last night I had another one, not quite so CSI scary, but maybe even worse. Some friends and I seemed to have decided to put a gruesome end to a local rapist/pimp. We found the guy, who looked strongly like a biker-dude, all by himself and we dragged him away to an abandoned garage (how typical). There we took turns beating the living hell outta the guy. With our fists, feet, and any heavy object we could find. Considering I am completely non-violent, this was fairly disturbing for me. We did not stop until we had killed him, regardless of his pleas and bloody face.
Then the dream skipped ahead a couple of days and all of the sudden I am at a beauty pageant. I had no intention of being in it, even though I do seem to remember holding a very expensive blue dress. But I am there to meet one of the contestants, a dark-haired beauty I do not know. We get together and are in her dressing room when another biker-dude guy (what's with the bikers?) comes in looking for blood. I'm guessing he was either family or part of the other guys posse (same dif). So he grabs the pretty brunette and I somehow manage to get myself into the ceiling or rafters of the room and out of his reach. He starts to cut her, coaxing me down, and I grab an axe (axe?) and try hanging on with my legs while I lower myself enough to cut his damned head off. Now this is where I get that too-weak-to-do-anything kinda feeling and I am afraid to swing the axe incase all it does is get me caught too.
Fear does not hold me long and I swing it with all my might. Splat! His head hitting the floor. Next thing I know I am outside walking through the park, trying to shake the two murders. The dream wanders off after that, and then I wake up. Hmmm what does it mean I wonder? Any dream interpreters who want to take a crack at it, be my guest!
posted by clothosfate @ 6:39 PM
0 comments
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Monday, May 09, 2005
The Cleverness of Sex with Professors
As a beautiful girl, I recognize the power I have over men. Its not hard to see, and I would not consider being a martyr and refusing to use this incredible power for 'the good of women as equals'. It seems to me that as a person you need to recognize and use all the advantages your life offers you, but as a woman it is especially important. The simple fact that we have been existing in a world run by men for a very long time now, suggests to me that we must learn how to properly use the enticing power that is ours... cause we must not have gotten it yet... considering the world is STILL run by men. Do you hear what I'm saying girls?
The roles that we have tried on throughout the centuries, for survival of ourselves and our children, have worked for certain things... like oppression and the whole barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen idea, yes, but to actually have a say and an imprint on our societies, well the imprint we have been making isn't a good one and I think it's time to change it.
The allure of the beautiful woman has long been scorned by all the ugly, the angry, the uptight, the conservative and highly religious women of our societies. So that power has been limited to the few who have realized it without fear, or by those who have abused it and themselves by trading it for lack of love or intimacy or money. The funny and often misunderstood thing about beauty is that it is about how you feel, not how you look. That may be an idea that has been sold alongside some shitty nivea commercial or sex-ed class lecture about birth control and body-image, but it is true none the less.
If you feel unattractive, or awkward, you generally look that way. If you are angry or uptight or afraid all the time, well that shows too. We are made to feel like we must not 'flaunt' our sex, or power...we are Eve's descendants after all, and it was our fault, don't forget, that we were cast out of paradise. How convent. Considering there isn't a man alive that could turn down a gorgeous woman full of confidence and good energy, who exudes sexuality. So just to be sure that the world doesn't get run by the women, who could exercise this power over men at any moment, they better make women stifle it, except when men, their owners, want them to use it.
Well well well. What ever shall we do? Gee I have an idea! USE IT GODAMMIT!
Now lets get this strait before you go running out without with your new found toy... use your power for good ladies, or else you will have changed nothing. We do not need to round up the men and stick them in pens, or forsake them from our beds. We do not even need to de-throne them or become president (although it might be nice). Every King has a Queen and every single president has had a first lady, I'm talking to YOU here Laura! As the saying goes, "behind every great man, is a great woman." Well that could be true, it really could.
So first get out from behind the great man, and be great yourself. We have the power to influence and nurture, to give pleasure and satisfaction. We have the beauty, the curves, the smile and gentle hands. It is us that they want. Put away the 'proper' and set free the strong, intelligent, sexual and charismatic creature that we all have inside of us. You are the voice in their ear and the lips on their neck. You have the beast by the balls. Be gentle but firm.
For those of you who don't go for beasts with balls, well they still exist in your life and you could do us all a favor an be not afraid to work your womanly wiles on them to promote your own power in your life. As for the rest of ya, well you can have any man you want, anything you want and have your life go the way you want, you just need to feel beautiful and let it show without reservation. If we all embrace this endless resource that is ours by birth, we could truly change the world by nurturing it and encouraging it; be beautiful and promote beauty in your life.
Oh ya, and never hesitate to have sex with the professors that turn your head, or whatever twisted thing you like to do with them... it can only increase your chances of success, and they teach so much better with big shit-eating grins on their faces. Now go to it, and HAVE FUN :)
The roles that we have tried on throughout the centuries, for survival of ourselves and our children, have worked for certain things... like oppression and the whole barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen idea, yes, but to actually have a say and an imprint on our societies, well the imprint we have been making isn't a good one and I think it's time to change it.
The allure of the beautiful woman has long been scorned by all the ugly, the angry, the uptight, the conservative and highly religious women of our societies. So that power has been limited to the few who have realized it without fear, or by those who have abused it and themselves by trading it for lack of love or intimacy or money. The funny and often misunderstood thing about beauty is that it is about how you feel, not how you look. That may be an idea that has been sold alongside some shitty nivea commercial or sex-ed class lecture about birth control and body-image, but it is true none the less.
If you feel unattractive, or awkward, you generally look that way. If you are angry or uptight or afraid all the time, well that shows too. We are made to feel like we must not 'flaunt' our sex, or power...we are Eve's descendants after all, and it was our fault, don't forget, that we were cast out of paradise. How convent. Considering there isn't a man alive that could turn down a gorgeous woman full of confidence and good energy, who exudes sexuality. So just to be sure that the world doesn't get run by the women, who could exercise this power over men at any moment, they better make women stifle it, except when men, their owners, want them to use it.
Well well well. What ever shall we do? Gee I have an idea! USE IT GODAMMIT!
Now lets get this strait before you go running out without with your new found toy... use your power for good ladies, or else you will have changed nothing. We do not need to round up the men and stick them in pens, or forsake them from our beds. We do not even need to de-throne them or become president (although it might be nice). Every King has a Queen and every single president has had a first lady, I'm talking to YOU here Laura! As the saying goes, "behind every great man, is a great woman." Well that could be true, it really could.
So first get out from behind the great man, and be great yourself. We have the power to influence and nurture, to give pleasure and satisfaction. We have the beauty, the curves, the smile and gentle hands. It is us that they want. Put away the 'proper' and set free the strong, intelligent, sexual and charismatic creature that we all have inside of us. You are the voice in their ear and the lips on their neck. You have the beast by the balls. Be gentle but firm.
For those of you who don't go for beasts with balls, well they still exist in your life and you could do us all a favor an be not afraid to work your womanly wiles on them to promote your own power in your life. As for the rest of ya, well you can have any man you want, anything you want and have your life go the way you want, you just need to feel beautiful and let it show without reservation. If we all embrace this endless resource that is ours by birth, we could truly change the world by nurturing it and encouraging it; be beautiful and promote beauty in your life.
Oh ya, and never hesitate to have sex with the professors that turn your head, or whatever twisted thing you like to do with them... it can only increase your chances of success, and they teach so much better with big shit-eating grins on their faces. Now go to it, and HAVE FUN :)
posted by clothosfate @ 1:44 PM
5 comments
ponder this
Life is a sensational adventure of conversations about the relations with the unknown masterpiece puzzle.
there is more, but I thought this line might be good to begin with... what does it mean to you?
there is more, but I thought this line might be good to begin with... what does it mean to you?
posted by clothosfate @ 12:31 PM
3 comments
Thursday, May 05, 2005
*pads on in, peers about, yawns toothily and flops down in a comfy chair*
Hello! Here I am! For the most part in a non existent cyber world that only makes ence in my failing failing brain...oh how I love it! Anyways, hi! How is everyone? And don't think I'm not talking to you you plucky little wee duck! I see you in the corner! @!(*#()*! Now if we can all just sit and eat fondue the world will be saved. Thank you for your time.
This moment has been brought to you by a hoarde of rampaging mongolian seagulls. They bring you peace. Amoung other things.
~Moi
Hello! Here I am! For the most part in a non existent cyber world that only makes ence in my failing failing brain...oh how I love it! Anyways, hi! How is everyone? And don't think I'm not talking to you you plucky little wee duck! I see you in the corner! @!(*#()*! Now if we can all just sit and eat fondue the world will be saved. Thank you for your time.
This moment has been brought to you by a hoarde of rampaging mongolian seagulls. They bring you peace. Amoung other things.
~Moi
posted by Anonymous @ 5:31 PM
1 comments
