Out of the Storm...

The clouds have parted and the rain has ceased... at least for today. For a good 5 months I have felt like I have been wandering around in a torrential downpour with nothing to shield me but an old ratty newspaper that reported only sunshine and lollipops. It reminds me of that song by Melissa Etheridge that vaguely sounded like a ballad to stalking ex-lovers. Not that I feel like a stalker in any way shape or form... just the lyrics about her standing in the rain... ok so maybe its not like that song at all, and I don't really know why I brought it up to begin with. Moving on.

I have not been writing on my blogs, as if you hadn't noticed, but I have still been writing... only latetly it has been in a ring binder that has been living next to my bed. It keeps all my secrets so very well. Today I woke and thought about Him. It hurt for sure, I guess I am not as far out of the storm as I would like to think I am. I do miss him, but I think that its mostly because we were so comfortable with each other, and he was a guaranteed place to get support and comfort and affection. Those are three things I am missing terribly, not to mention SEX. Although he wasn't a sure place for that, or even if it was sure, it was not very satisfying, so that is not something I miss with him really. None the less... the missing is present for the moment.

It's funny, I have practically been avoiding my job for the last two months, and now I could not avoid it if I tried. I am born to be good at this, which is actually a relief to tell you the truth. Even if I don't go looking for them, they come looking for me. Yesterday I went to my next door neibour's to get my son, and the woman there casually brought up my job... well it was like an open door, how could I not walk through... so without even trying, I got a booking!!

In other news... men are confusing me left, right and centre. Many of them want my attention since I became single again, and thats nice actually, I like attention, but I am not quite getting what I want, and to tell you the truth, I am kind of hoping that I might actually, FINALLY, find the one of them that makes me not want any other. Is it too big a hope? I guess we will see. So far I think it actually may be possible cause instead of wanting all the attention, I just want specific attention.

Life is surely a rollercoaster for me, its a good thing I like amusement parks.