Found!

Fuck it all. No more round and round we go. I am done. I guess you could say I am through with chasing my tail. I accept myself, its practically the main theme to my entire fucking life... why should I stop now?

I read my cards, I appealed to the goddess for guidance, and you know what I got? Relationship, illusion and acceptance, death and rebirth. How funny is that, but always the way with these things. I asked to be shown what I need to do to stop worrying over this kind of shit. I was told I need to look at myself honestly and stop trying to hide. Just the exact things that I DO need to do, that I knew I needed to do.

Things change; that is the death and rebirth card. I wasn't expecting it... but who ever is? Strip away the illusion, the pretend, and see what's underneath; that is the illusion card. The relationship card was not what I thought it was about. Its about relating at all, about nature and nurture. It suggested that if a relationship was possible, then communication was necessary. All of the cards repeatedly mentioned being honest and accepting of myself.

Well that I can do, and as soon as I decided that that was what I would do, then I felt relieved. So I have all the answers I need... for the moment anyway. *big grin*